Proust #19 What do you consider to be your greatest achievement?
I hope you are all thinking along with these questions because I don’t want to be the only one who reads the question and thinks holy cow, how do I even answer that? Maybe this one seems especially difficult because I’m sitting in a hotel room and not in my comfy chair and the coffee is really, really awful. My choices of sweetener are sugar or aspartame. Sugar, thank you, at least it’s kind of natural. And some liquid, edible oil product that lasts nearly indefinitely when left out on a hotel desk. Blech ? Room service should be here shortly with a, please God, better pot of coffee and some real, full fat, bovine produced cream.
So greatest achievement? I have a couple of things really, that I’m quite proud of and maybe not the things you might think. I’d like to say something sappy and predictable like my kids. Can’t do it. I love my kids and I think they’re pretty awesome but I can’t take all the credit and therefore, only half the blame.
What have I done that I’m most proud of? Two things. I’ve written some funny little poems for my family over the years that make them laugh. They’re just humorous little poems about things from our family life, but it lifts my heart to hear them laugh that way and then we have these lovely discussions about growing up and our misadventures. It’s wonderful ? Maybe one day, I’ll share them with you.
What I’m most proud of though sure didn’t feel like a victory at the time and I didn’t realize how pivotal that stupid snorkelling incident in Hawaii was for me until I started writing these posts. One afternoon really changed my life and it was a turning point for me, although I didn’t recognize it at the time.
I am scared of water. I mean really scared. There are legitimate reasons why I’m afraid of water, but for some reason I had decided that I was going to try snorkelling. I mean, I was in Hawaii, I had to at least try right? So I did. I rented gear, flippers and all. Most of you will have heard the story before so I don’t really need to hash it all through again. But that day, I found some little part of me that was stronger than my fear. I put on the gear, waded out into the ocean (where all manner of things lurk in the coral), put my face into the water, and snorkelled for about 150 yards. It took forever and the trip back took even longer. The whole thing still didn’t end particularly well for me, at least not from a snorkelling perspective, but I learned something about myself that day. I did something that terrified me and I didn’t die. Might not seem like much to you, but that single event has given me courage on many occasions since. Sometimes my courageous face has tears running down it, but I’m not standing on the sidelines anymore. Fear isn’t ruling my life and making my decisions anymore.
And that is my greatest accomplishment and it might always be my greatest accomplishment because anything I do from that point on, will be because fear gets the back seat now, not the drivers seat. I’m working toward that day when it gets out of the car all together. What a day that will be!
