Proust #34 How would you like to die?
I bet I know what just happened. You read that question and said to yourself “I’d like to die in my sleep when I’m really old and I will still have had all my marbles in the same jar.” Everyone answers this question the same way. That comment is usually followed (at least in my family) by “Or a massive heart attack. That’d be ok too, I just want it to be fast, if I could be dead before I hit the ground, that’d be good.” I should have warned you, we’re a bit morbid in my family and yes, we really do talk like that…sorry.
Nobody ever says, “Gee, I think a nice, long, lingering death is just the ticket.” Nobody says that because we’ve all seen it. It’s heartbreaking and agonizing and torturous. No one wants to die slowly.
The truth is, though, that we are all dying slowly. One day at a time, one moment at a time. Not a single one of us knows which day, which moment will be our last.
Yesterday on my way home from work, I listened to a radio interview with the mother of a teenage daughter who has Cystic Fibrosis. Did you know there are now more adults living with that awful disease than there are children with CF? Yay for modern medicine! Even though their lifespan has increased significantly, they still die young. This woman’s daughter said “Mom, people with CF won’t have long lives, that’s why we need to live each day as fully as we can!” This young woman knows her life will be short, so she’s doing everything she can to make sure every day counts.
Why do I assume my life will be long? I go through my days never thinking, not really, not seriously, that this day could be my last.
I don’t really get a choice in how I will die, so this question is kind of foolish. The question should be,”How do I want to live?” Now that is a good question. My answer to that question is entirely within my control. I choose how I live. I choose what I will do, how I will behave, how I will treat those around me. I decide, no one else.
When I’m gone, all that will be left are memories and maybe, in my case, I’ll leave some words too. If that’s all that’s going to be left, I want to make darn sure that the memories are mostly good ones, that the words are thoughtful and encouraging. I want my life to have mattered, to have made a difference. I think we all do.
Think back to elementary school when the teacher took attendance. You either said “here” or “present”. Think about those two words for just a moment. “Here” is a pretty passive word, but “present”, at least to me, is engaged and active.
So today, my thought for you, is this: that you (and I) will be present, living each moment fully. Be patient, be kind, be loving, be present with those around you.
Because if, God forbid, this day is my last, I want it to be a good day. Don’t you?
Ooohh….loved this one!
Thanks Connie 🙂 I never know where I’m going to go with some of these questions and suddenly there’s a kernel there to work with! Maybe working in a funeral home gave me an edge with this one.